One of the deepest pains a person can carry is the weight of hopelessness. A part of you has given up, doesn't see a way out of the abyss. It can even feel rational and intelligent to be hopeless - "I've tried everything. Nothing has worked. Its been this way for years and years."
When you abandon hope, you lose everything.
Our brains get in ruts, patterns of thinking that become so familiar, so normalized that we temporarily lose our ability to think new thoughts about an old situation. We start to pass all evidence through the same filter. For example, if you feel unworthy at work and you receive positive recognition, your brain won't allow you to truly receive that positive recognition. You will actively convince yourself that the recognition wasn't deserved.
This is where you can harness the power of uncertainty. Begin to remind yourself, "I don't know for sure."
I'll never get in a relationship.
I'll never lose weight.
My partner won't keep loving me.
If I lose this job, I won't find a new one.
I won't be able to recover financially.
I'll always be addicted.
None of my coworkers like me.
"I don't know for sure. I'm not a fortune teller."
These thoughts above are simplified - our brains actually spin the most fantastic novels about how dreary life is. Remember, our brains always want to be right. The brain will interpret evidence in ways that back up our belief system. If your belief system is "I'm not worthy." The brain will interpret the positive recognition at work as "They don't really know what they are talking about. They are just using me as a political move. They don't really think I'm that good."
If you are stuck in hopelessness, begin by chipping away at your thought structures with the power of uncertainty. "I don't know for sure."
